The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
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If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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