Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize
