come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
