brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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