Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
