He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
