Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Houston, we have a blender
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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