Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
