I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
