You're so nebulous sometimes
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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