the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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