I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
