i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
