I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It was confusing and full of hummus
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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