It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
