when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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