I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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