You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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