I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
