You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
