I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
