Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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