You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
