Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
