i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize