Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
