wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
