Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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