When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize