Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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