Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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