I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
