READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
