I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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