they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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