Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
