we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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