i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
