I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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