My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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