sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
