32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
