Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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