Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
