So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
