u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Redeem this text for a blowjob
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You have to summon your inner elephant
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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