This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. Iβm in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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