I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
