i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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