You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize