Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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