Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
