so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
