he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
