If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
