One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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