What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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