you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
what day is it and did you see me today?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
