I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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