I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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